Sovereign in the Storm

So much has changed since the last time that I sat down to write a blog post. I put off writing for so long because it is hard to think profound thoughts in the middle of a global pandemic, and I figured everyone was as tired of reading about Corona and quarantine as much as I am. Everyone’s lives are affected in so many ways, and the past months have been defined by disappointment and trying to find new normals. Everyone predicts what will happen, trying to update each other on the latest information, but in reality, no one knows. It’s an attempt to gain control in an uncontrollable situation.

I keep thinking about Ahab, from Moby Dick. He is daunted by the vastness of the whale, of the cosmos, and of God, that he tries to defeat it all in stubborn, ignorant pride. He could stand on a boat in the middle of the sea and still call himself God. His whole journey is about giving meaning to his suffering, but in the end, he was just a man killed by a whale. To what extent are we in the same boat (haha)? Do we stand in the middle of a crisis, self-deceived into thinking we can be gods? Shouldn’t we be looking around us and fall to our knees in worship of the one who is actually sovereign? This crisis should tell us just how small and defenseless we are, and just how big and powerful God is.

I’m reminded of another scene in a boat. 13 men, a storm all around threatening their lives. One of them sleeps. How could anyone sleep at a time like this? Perhaps it is because he did not fear the storm. He is not ruled by fear because he is the Prince of Peace. The other men do not understand, and wake him, saying “Save us! We are about to be drowned!” This man rises and says only “Peace! Be still!”

“Where is your faith,” he asks. “Do you not know that the Lord of Hosts is with you? Have you not been commanded to be still and know that I am God? Where were you when the foundations of the world were laid?”

And they marveled at him.

One more boat scene: another storm, but this time Jesus is not in the boat. He walks on the water, and one man decides to follow. In faith, he steps out and walks on the water with his eyes on Jesus. It is only when he turns to look at the storm that he starts to sink, but again, it only takes “save me!” for Jesus to reach out his hand. The wind and waves have nothing compared to the one who sits at the right hand of God.

I hold onto the peace that allowed Jesus to sleep in the boat. I hold fast to my faith and my hope because I know how big God is and how small I am. I have seen his power that calms the storm, and I see that I cannot be a god. I worship him by being obedient, faithfully doing the work set before me each day. Of course, there are still times when I get distracted by the storm, and the fear hits me like a wave trying to pull me under. I still feel the disappointment for things lost and yearn for things I can’t have, but those pass when I look upon the face of my savior. There’s not much else we can do, but thankfully, we aren’t asked to do anything else.